Well it’s 12:29 AM and I got home not too long ago. I’m still in shock that I’m doing this every week. It is now week 11! Yesterday night I had a freak-out and deleted a few of my blog posts, so if you look back you won’t see one for every week but I can attest that I did in fact do them. What inspired the freak-out was my friends planning a ‘blog launch’ party for me. I suddenly got very self-conscious about my writing and over-analyzed everything and deleted a few posts, including the one when I went to see Kathleen Wynne speak at the Reference Library last week for International Women’s Day. And another post where I felt totally broken and down and wasn’t able to write a lot when I got home. Anyway, I think I’m back on track now!
Today was an absolutely wondrous day, filled with many coincidences and great meetings of the minds. I woke up with a chest cold and told myself that I should just skip my creative writing class, and stay in bed all day and watch movies. But I knew I wanted to go. I made it there a little late, in time for reviewing some of the stories from my classmates and providing feedback. Kan wrote a beautiful piece about a boy who is with his father in a refugee camp, oblivious to the strife and suffering around him. He focuses his attention on the kite he is flying, the warmth of the day, and his loving father – there is nothing else he needs. It reminded me a little of the movie Life Is Beautiful, where the father creates a magical world for his son so that he is protected from the suffering. And also it made me think of our perception of reality – what is reality but our individual perceptions? Children who experience cancer and other conditions that we as adults deem as tragic, are somehow resilient and are able to enjoy the moment and not be caught up in what it all means, in the ‘tragedy’ of it all. They are still able to appreciate life, to a much greater extent than we as adults can. Clearly we have a lot to learn from them!
Following my class, I stopped by the ROM gift store where I admired the paintings of Frida Kahlo (another one of my role models) and then made it to Balzac’s. I chatted with Isaac for a bit about Trudeau and Obama (he seemed to think they were putting on a show with their friendship, whereas I believed they had a genuine connection). Then I started chatting with a girl, Sarah Hussein, who turns out to be the coolest chic ever. She has the best energy and spirit, and she pulled me out of a slump I had been experiencing, overwhelmed with all the things I’d signed up for and the uncertainty of my life. She runs a business called Breath of Henna. She’s a talented henna artist and partners with other artists to do photo shoots of powerful women, to tell their narratives and portray women’s life journeys. She even wanted me to join to do some of the writing! How exciting is that?! She also wants me to model in one them. People often tell me I should model which is the greatest compliment ever. Maybe one day I should try it out! I did a few pics for my friend Gosia’s clothing line Bare Rouge and it was so fun!
I also met Juanita who is also the coolest chic ever. We walked home together from Balzac’s and were reflecting on life and its meaning, y’know because we had it all figured out, and she basically said none of this shit is real, all of the emotions and boxes we put ourselves in. I was reminded of a quote by Elizabeth Gilbert, who said something like ‘Don’t decorate your prison’. Most of us live in a kind of mental prison where we have boxed ourselves in with beliefs and ideas and we are comfortable there, so much so that we camp out there and decorate it and even put up curtains. Ok I’m laughing as I write this because it sounds like utter nonsense but I think you had to be there to appreciate it. It was actually amazing, and just walking with Juanita down Yonge street on this beautiful night made life and the whole world make sense. We also talked about sex (or lack thereof for me) as we walked by Seductions. She is hilarious! I think I got a lot of good material for my next stand-up routine. I swear that is still going to happen this year. Although it is already March and I haven’t made much progress on my resolutions!
After that I stopped by Sick Kids and had some tea and a protein bistro box from Starbucks. Pretty odd thing to do at around 11pm, but it was actually perfect and just what I needed. I ran into a friend that was there because the shower door had fallen on her daughter and shattered into a million pieces! Luckily she was alright and was smiling because she had gotten a cake pop for her ordeal.
I continued on to Nathan Philips Square where I had a moment with the Freedom of Expression lady. A moment of stillness that reminded me of why I do this, and that there are millions of women and girls whose voices are silenced and deserve the right to speak and live freely, as we all do.