In Between The Pauses

Embers of fury

follow me, creating pathways into

the fissures of my heart,

unrelenting in the face of my

determined despair.

Why does the wind blow in the

direction of passivity?

Why do the red birds take me on a

journey without any clues?

The beauty of life seems to radiate the most

in between the pauses.

My soul awaits,

gasping for air,

overwhelmed by the pain and the virtue,

that interlock and intertwine,

and enhance each other through their filters.

The beaten path makes me weary,

yet knows me more than I wish to admit,

reveals more of me with every turn.


“I’ve only ever fallen in love with geminis” he once told me.
I flashed my eyes at him. He had my attention.
Ummmm what is that supposed to mean, I wondered. What was he
trying to tell me? Did that mean we were destined to be
together, that I was the next gemini on the list.
Did that mean that the stars had already decided long
ago, or was it all just a tease,
Meant to lead me astray.
He shook his head in disbelief as he looked at me.
He almost couldn’t believe it himself.
You know, and you’re all so similar.
Love to travel, Athletic (Reeeeally? Me?),
You want to change the world,
Well maybe he didn’t say that last one,
I just wished it.
Did that make me just like the others?
Just another gemini?
or were all the others
just a dry run
For me.

Keep Calm and Skate On

Yesterday afternoon I went skating near my house at the Kanata Beaver Pond. There is something about the motion of skating that is meditative, going around in circles, over and over and for some reason never wanting to stop. I even played with the hockey stick and puck that were left there by some kids, pretending I was Wayne Gretzky, racing across the ice, hoping to score that big goal.

The sun hits the ice
My skates glide smoothly along
Oops! – Was that a bump?

Here is a video of my first skate. (There is also another one of me spinning but watching it makes me dizzy!).

Later I went for a walk and basked in the beautiful weather.  A little chipmunk put on a show for me while I snapped a few photos:


Scurrying away to gather some nuts:


I encountered a mother and her daughter walking their dog across the frozen pond:


The woods near my house always make me reflect, and have a haunting effect as the sun rays peek through the treetops:


A beautiful afternoon in solitude, nature, and surrounded by beauty. When life gets a little overwhelming, keep calm and skate on!




I want to believe
his soul is just
like mine –
he thinks the same,
feels the same
loves the same.

Does he wonder
in wisps of thought
like I do? Does he light
up when another feels
happy? (the smile on their
faces giving away their joy).

I try not to forget what I know
to be true.
How easily I forget my
knowledge of the
human heart,
How readily I mistrust my
faith in the good,
and let my anxieties
drown out the truth.

“More issues than vogue” I once
read on a t-shirt
It reminds me of him.
Then again,
it reminds me of me.

I find myself wishing him
all good things,
in between the
curses. Love, joy, and
I know he lives a life of wonder.
Yet still I wonder.

I believe

I believe
In love, spirit, and laughter;
In the human soul, and its subtle way of
leading to the stillness within.
In the beauty of the imperfect; and in
the perfection of everything that is discarded
and called unworthy.

I believe
in the sliver of divinity in each of us;
That our reflections are not in the mirror —
And with a glimmer of recognition,
and willingness,
you can see yourself
in another.

I believe
in divine dichotomy —
That I am everywhere and yet I am nowhere;
That the seconds are ticking
but the clock has stopped;
That in order to get closer to someone,
you must focus with greater presence,
on yourself.

I believe
that there can be drama without trauma,
love without fear,
and hope without delusion.

I believe
that pain provides a pathway, that sheds
light on the fragmented parts of us —
and that tears remove
what the body
no longer needs to remember.

I believe
that there are symbols that steer us,
numbers that show us
an order beyond what we can conceive.
That we construct our own realities, and that
the truth is as we see it.