Books I Read and Loved in 2023

This year I read some pretty amazing books! Books keep me grounded and generate a feeling of coziness and home, but they can also be heart-wrenching, especially when memoir writers are not afraid to share the painful parts, the shameful parts, the parts that we as readers appreciate for the grit and honesty and because they help us grow. It was hard to focus on reading with all the devastation in the world.. I felt almost a survivor’s guilt for having a place to call home.

Here are a few of my favourite reads from the past year:

1. Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry – I was intrigued by this book when I ran into my friend Cindy at Indigo. She was going through a memoir phase; this seems to be lifelong phase for me. I started reading it that day, but didn’t buy it – I had so many books on the go already. Once it arrived at the library, I devoured it. I read it before he passed away; I honestly don’t think I could’ve read it after. Matthew Perry grew up in Nepean, Ottawa close to where I grew up. Reading about his struggle to belong, feelings of disconnection from his parents, and desire to always be the best, I tried to understand where all the pain came from. It’s amazing how we can enjoy his acting and jokes, while underneath it he was struggling so much. I hope that writing the book was therapeutic and healing for him – I know that his dying wish was fulfilled – to be remembered for helping people overcome addiction; he helped so many. His death is a reminder of how gripping the disease is. For many of us, he will always be the goofy boy who got the pretty girl – and really could that story BE any better.

I was full-on the joke man, cracking gags like a comedy machine whenever I could, trying to get everybody to like me because of how funny I was. Because, why else would anybody like me? It would take fifteen years for me to learn that I didn’t need to be a joke machine.

Matthew Perry

2. Finding Me by Viola Davis – I listened to Viola’s powerful voice on audiobook; and boy did she go deep. It gives me goosebumps even thinking about the experience. From her childhood always running away from bullies that hurled racist taunts, to her meteoric determination to succeed at acting, to getting down onto her knees and asking God for a partner in life, she shows us that literally anything is possible. Her dogged determination in pursuing her dreams to become an actor is full of setbacks and disappointments, but she knows she’s talented and it’s only a matter of time. There are so many good lines in this book that this whole post could be a compilation of her insights. “Forgiveness is giving up all hope of a different past. They tell you successful therapy is when you have the big discovery that your parents did the best they could with what they were given.”

Your only job as an artist is to put the truth out there into the world.

VIOLA DAVIS

3. Unreliable Narrator by Aparna Nancherla – This book popped out at me from atop a shelf at the quaint Queen Books in Leslieville – it was perfect timing as I forayed into the exciting world of stand-up comedy, looking for role models for inspiration. And I discovered Aparna Nancherla, an introverted, compassionate, save-the-world type that describes her experience of imposter syndrome and the excruciating agony of not feeling good-enough. Even knowing the back story, the level of her self-doubt was still surprising to me, because her comedy is so good! One chapter describes when she is waiting to perform and feels as though she will not live up to the hype – I held my breath but the scene cuts right at when it’s her turn. I wonder what happened! (I’m sure she killed it). It’s interesting how, like me, she went to Toastmasters which helped hone her public speaking skills. The book really helped me to identify some of my own patterns of over-analysis, self-doubt, and anxious thinking – it seems like Aparna and I had depression and anxiety long before it was cool! The book is a reminder that the whole point of following your dream is to have fun with it. And be proud that you did it.

4. Such Big Dreams by Reema Patel – I got a copy of Reema’s debut novel after her panel discussion at the Word on the Street Festival in 2022. I couldn’t put it down initially, but then somehow I lost the book, and didn’t end up finishing it until the year after. You can tell that it’s written by someone who cares deeply about human rights. This quest for justice is reflected in the main character Rakhi, a former street child in Mumbai, who keenly observes the social inequities around her but is restricted in her actions because of her place in society. A well-meaning foreigner that crosses Rakhi’s path brings out fresh new hopes, and their paths reveal the truth of who they are. Rakhi harbours a deep secret about her past, and I was at the edge of my seat waiting to discover what it was. I appreciated the humorous dialogue throughout the book, which made me laugh out loud and lightened up the serious realities of both the characters and the society that they were striving to serve. Highly recommend!

5. If You Want to Make God Laugh by Bianca Marais – I discovered Bianca Marais from her podcast The Shit No One Tells You About Writing. This beautiful novel, set in South Africa, tells the stories from the perspective of three very different women whose lives intertwine in an unexpected way. The story is set in the 90’s amidst the growing AIDS epidemic, and highlights the lasting impact of apartheid and discrimination in all its forms. Reading this book brought back memories of the five weeks I spent in South Africa as part of a Rotary exchange program in 2008, and the shocking things I sometimes overheard and observed. I visited a school which jointly housed kids who had lost their parents, and those kids were the cutest kids that God ever made. The character of baby Mandla in the book invokes a love in the three women that is more powerful than their separate struggles. This book will definitely make you feel every emotion on the spectrum, so be prepared to crack open both your mind and your heart when you read it.

6. The Stories behind the Poses by Raj Balkaran – If you’ve ever wondered about the significance of each yoga pose beyond flexibility and strength, you have to read this beautiful book that lyrically describes each pose based on the Indian mythological (or perhaps real!) story behind it. I’d always hoped that Dr. Raj, who first introduced me to the endlessly fascinating world of myth, would publish a book. My favourites are the Plough Pose and the Crane Pose, because they tell the story of Sita, born of the Earth. “As you engage this elegant posture, reflect upon the majesty of the Sarus crane – its beauty, its grace, its capacity for courtship and love.” Every illustration in this book is a work of art – not meant to be instructional but magical, inspiring you to go deeper beyond your current understanding of yoga, and taking the pose into the realm of story, myth, and power.

7. Queen’s Gambit by Walter Tevis – I found this book at the hotel little library in Portugal last summer. It’s one of my favourite tales of perseverance and do-it-against-all-odds. Beth’s journey from orphanage to chess champion, while fighting her addictions is riveting and obsessive – both in terms of being an obsessive read, and getting into the mind of someone obsessed with her craft. It makes you wonder how many humans out there achieve things DESPITE their vices, and not because of them. We do need a little pain to humble us and help us grow, but self-destruction has the power to destroy our talents. Beth is at the verge of total self-destruction as well as monumental success throughout this whole book, and we are both rooting for and judging her the whole way. I read this book after watching the Netflix series, and it actually enhanced my appreciation of the book. Both the series and the book are spectacular.

I’m looking forward to all the great books I’ll read in 2024! I think I’ll start with these recommendations from a friend (who recently started a great new blog). The Bandit Queens looks amazing!