This morning I wished I’d woken to the sound of rain, but my window was closed (I think I closed it due to a loud bird), and it wasn’t until after I’d woken up that I realized it had been raining and I missed the experience of being gently woken out of my dreamy sleep to its pitter patter. One of my favourite sounds!
I dreamt a lot last night. In one of my dreams, I was wandering around one evening and came across a cast of actors and singers who were rehearsing for a musical. I was kicking myself that I hadn’t known about it before, or I would’ve definitely auditioned for it. But they allowed me to take part anyway.
I went down for breakfast with my book, Educated by Tara Westover (recommended by my sister and many others), and funny enough, I start reading a chapter, and its about how Tara takes part in a musical production of Annie, and she’s the lead. At first she thought that her parents wouldn’t let allow her to participate, but once her Dad hears what an amazing singer she is, he actually encourages her, and he ends up sitting proudly in the front row for every show.
Another funny coincidence happened. Yesterday after my appointment with my counsellor, I picked up two books from a bin of free books – one is a collection of poems and words of wisdom, the other is a book called Letting Go With Love: The Grieving Process by Nancy O’Connor. Then in the evening at dinner, somehow we started a big discussion about the grieving process, and what is considered right or wrong, and how different people grieve differently.
I started reading the book last night and it is really good. It’s not that someone has died recently in my life, but I’m grieving different things – as the author mentions, you can grieve many different types of things – a move, a change in job, end of a relationship, end of a phase in your life. The feeling of grief is a result of attachment. Prolonged grief is an issue, as it keeps you anchored to the past and the perceived void in your life, and prevents you from envisioning your future. There is a great video by Sadhguru that addresses grief that may change the way you think about it.
Here is one of the poems from the other book I picked up that really resonated with me – As You Go Through Life, by Ella Wheeler Wilcox.
Don’t look for the flaws
as you go through life;
And even when you find them,
It is wise and kind to be somewhat blind
And look for the virtue behind them;
For the cloudiest night
has a hint of light
Somewhere in its shadows hiding;
It’s better by far to hunt for a star
Than the spots on the sun abiding.
The current of life runs ever away
To the bosom of God’s great ocean.
Don’t set your force
‘gainst river’s course
And think to alter its motion.
Don’t waste a curse on the universe,
Remember, it lived before you.
Don’t butt at the storm
with your puny form
But bend and let it go o’er you.
This world will never adjust itself
To suit your whims to the letter;
Some things must go wrong
your whole life long,
And the sooner you know it the better.
It is folly to fight with the Infinite,
And go under at last in the wrestle.
The wiser man shapes into God’s plan
As the water shapes into a vessel.
I love this poem because it makes you see that there is no sense to in struggling against life, but accepting it and riding its waves. The great river of life is a powerful force, and by accepting your place in its current, you leverage that power and are able ‘go with the flow’. Although sometimes swimming against the current is where all the fun is. ;-)