Week 16. I started off the day reading an article by Alexandra Shimo, who is one of the teachers at the School of Continuing Studies at U of T. She wrote about how she suffered from PTSD after spending four months in Kashechewan, a First Nation on James Bay. The reason I’d looked her up is because I’m choosing my next creative writing course! I’m debating between “Introduction to Writing a Novel” and “Life Stories 1”. The latter is an exercise in memoir writing – as if I don’t already write enough about myself! But I think I’m leaning towards that one, because I like digging deep into my past and making stories out of my experiences. Anyhow, Alexandra wrote about how the high school there had been on permanent suicide watch because 21 kids (including a nine-year-old) reportedly tried to kill themselves in 2007. I had to do a double-take, because it was exactly like the situation in Attawapiskat right now. Alexandra eventually recovered from the PTSD by practicing mindfulness meditation. At first she resisted because she didn’t think something so gentle could work, but then learned to stay grounded in her body when the feelings arose, and actually feel them rather than avoid them. This is something that I continuously work on. I’ve been practicing for more than two years, and I can’t really say what the benefits are, but I do know that it grounds me and I actually look forward to it most of the time (like right now – can’t wait to relax and sink into my meditation once I’m done writing).
I left the house around 2pm, and headed up University. It was absolutely glorious weather. Hot and sunny (I wore a tank top!), and I was loving every moment of it. I stopped around King to read a chapter from my book, then continued along, looping past 525, down Elm street to Yonge, and then to CCVT. Today was my first day doing Homework Club with the high school students. Usually I go on Tuesdays, but there was an urgent need for math tutors so I was asked to switch days. I helped Aisha with her math homework, and we also talked about other things. She asked me if I was married and I said no, but I do hope to be one day, and she said “I’ve heard of 40-year-olds getting married”. Haha! Like they really do exist. It was pretty hilarious. It was fun hanging out with the kids and hearing what they think of Chris Brown and Rihanna and what their dreams and hopes for the future are (one guy said he was ready to have a baby).
After CCVT, I made my way to Allan Gardens. I chatted with Daisy for a bit – she called me as part of her homework for a Landmark course. I told her how I’m ready to get back to project management, and I’m really interested in mental health, specifically CAMH. She said that her friend who was a psychiatrist in Ottawa was saying that there aren’t enough resources available, and that there are always services being cut, while meanwhile the govt is funding things like egg freezing.
Got to Balzac’s and read from The Underground Girls of Kabul. Jenny asks a group of women how they would go about turning her into a man, and they say that she basically already acts like one. She walks around as though she is “the owner of everything” (I love that!) and arrives everywhere without a husband or a father. And when she speaks, she looks people right in the eyes, without seeming shy or emotional.
On the way home I walked through Queen’s Park and saw some girls playing badminton as the sun set, and I thought back to the days when my dad and I used to play badminton for hours on the street outside my house. I can’t wait to find a badminton partner here!
Before I got home I stopped to watch the Raptors game outside at the ACC. Go Raptors!!